Easily one of the most obnoxious “celebrities” ever to disgrace television, Paris Hilton always conjures up in my mind a single question: “Why?”
This is not the “why” that comes in front of “does’nt someone give her a good ‘five to the eyes?’” or “does my stomach hurt like I have just been kicked in the nuts everytime her emaciated clown-mask of a face fills my television tube?” No. My “why” comes in front of “is this bitch famous at all?”
Probably best known for portraying herself with Nicole Richie in “The Simple Life” (where millions of mindless morons watch these two scrawny twats patronize other mindless morons in thier own homes and towns) she has also appeared in the “Blockbuster” The Cat in The Hat (with “Blockbuster” being defined as a movie that had the right combination of utter retardation, bad acting, and totally fucking up on a childhood classic to attract every better off aborted bastard with thier non-attentive parents in tow so as to gross over $100 million) as well as such “other” films as Wonderland, Raising Helen, Pauly Shore is Dead, House of Wax, National Lampoon’s Pledge This!, and Bottom’s Up (with other being defined as so abhorrently awful that even the mindless morons who watch “The Simple Life” did not go and see them).
These are just the “Official” credits. Unofficially there was the pirated video of her putting down her damned dog (who may, in fact, actually be Nicole Richie) and cell phone long enough to get her cavernous cunt railroaded by number 23 of the exactly 35 poeple who actually saw Pauly Shore is Dead.
The preceding paragraphs, like the first warning farts of an impending shit-storm as you sit down on the toilet that is our television culture, are not all. She has a book out which is still currently on the New York Times “Best Seller” list (proving that mindless morons not only watch television but also read after thier fashion– “Ooooh look at the pretty pictures!!”) but is also working on an album. An Album? I would rather listen to another 4000 redundant “you might be a redneck” jokes from that meatwhistle Jeff Foxworthy.
To sum up, “Why is Paris Hilton famous?” She is a smarmy, diarrhetic, asshole belching forth sticky wads of shit all over television, film, print, and now music. Without a single claim to legitimate fame and having actually worked for and earned nothing, we still let her roam the red carpets of all the major award shows where the greats of the past like Marilyn Monroe or Elizabeth Taylor– who once showed the world how graceful women with real poise comported themselves– must roll over in thier graves ass-up everytime this titless wonder humiliates herself on live un-editable television.
3 Comments
the only reason people hate paris hilton is because they have this certain image of
who they think she is. so she like’s to have fun and party you have to think being a celebrity is hard with the paparazzi alll the d** time people are so jealous of her because she has the princess image and because she has money and is really skinny well partying leaves stress off a lot of people’s back’s sometimes she can be a slut if she try’s to
‘Sometimes she can be a slut if she “try’s” to…’ what does that even mean? She is not only a slut but has, evidently, dumbed down even her most devoted fans. Its not because she is rich (someone elses’ money and NOT her own) and she is skinny (which is ugly as sin or her dog which may actually be the same thing); but, rather, it is because she has no talent that she becomes the subject of my ire. In a perfect world, the paparazzi would not care and she would just party rather than subject me and the rest of the world to her stereotypical and boring music; a book which makes no sense; and a life that is symbollic of all that is wrong in Hollywood and America at large. She is, in short, a female Billy Madison except not funny. Please find a better, more healthy role-model for yourself and do not be deceived by the steaming liquified bull shit being force fed down your ignorant gullet by an unforgiving and exploitative media system.
What more can I add? Not much, you’re spot on correct. She’s an embarassment to the human race and should be exorcised.
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