Everything Swank

In an effort to produce another epic movie, Legendary Pictures with Warner Bros., decided to produce an epic from very ancient times featuring a Mammoth Hunter to free his people and find true love.

Instead of using the opportunity to write a unique story given the flexibility the  historical timeline of the movie provides, you’ll get two hours of B-Movie acting, writing, directing, and special effects done on a large movie budget.  The lines are as campy and predictable as a day time soap opera, and  the plot is a mash-up of movies like  Conan: The Barbarian, Willow,  and The Beastmaster.  All of which are better in every way to this stank fest.

Trust me when I say this movie has absolutely nothing original.  All of the monsters you’ve seen before and you’ve seen done far better in other movies.  None of the effects are worthy of even being called effects.  Discovery Channel does a better job with “Great White Shark vs Crocodile.”

Often though, a movie like this doesn’t have to be particularly original or have great acting

and dialogue if the action is awesome.  Unfortunately, the fight sequences have all the intensity of a middle school production of High School Musical.

This movie sucks. Big time.  Warner Bros. is lucky to have some other big movies coming down the pipeline, because this is no suprise hit.