Everything Swank

Erin Burnett is the hottest woman on television.  She is smart, sexy, and talks sexier than any other woman on television.  I am fairly certain she could talk about the Fed Funds rate and still turn me on.  She is that sexy.

I’ve seen “The Hill” with those stuck up bitches who have all the personality of a discarded Cabbage Patch Doll.  The women on “The View” are a bunch of sad ass spinsters (except Elizabeth) who are under the mistaken belief that they are important because legions of fat ass stay at home women actual tune in each day to listen to their commentary on current issues.

Television polishes up moderately attractive women to run around like retards and we’re supposed to be impressed and think they are sexy.  They run around with men who are completely emasculated to give the false sense that these women are super sexy and powerful.

Balderdash.  Erin Burnett is the real hot.  Smart. Sexy. Knowledgeable in an arena dominated by men.  She isn’t just eye candy, she knows what the hell she is talking about which makes her all the more sexy.
But seriously CNBC.  Isn’t it about time we got this woman in a bikini?  For fucks sake, you show copious amounts of footage anytime Intimate Brands Victoria’s Secret is mentioned.  I’m not bitching about that mind you, but I’ll be seriously depressed if life passes by with no Erin Burnett in some seriously sexy outfits.

Because Al Shaprton is too ugly for anyone to pay attention to, the baton of rambling craziness has been passed on to pop singer Alicia Keys.   Her first brilliant piece of social commentary?  That rap music  is a conspiracy by the governement to convince black people to kill each other.

Really…..

So you’d have us believe that the government recruits people like Flavor Flav to create a whole genre of music designed over 20 years to slowly create a culture of disrespect for each other that culminates in black-on-black crime?

Her songs are repitious and boring chances for her to show off her shallow vocal skills, but she was moderately hot, so I had no real excuse to hate her.  Know that I know she is a pawn of “the man” and the millions she makes are just a cover for her real agenda to enslave her people I have reason enough to hate her.

Stop whining.  Stop crying.  If you are one of the countless legions of Facebook users who feel it’s necessary to update us on every single swing of emotion that occurs in your life need to get some fucking courage.

I cannot log in without seeing countless diatribes on the sad state of your life or how overjoyed you are.  No wonder you got dumped/fired/made fun of.  You have the intestinal fortitude of a 3 year old who has shit their diaper.

You wonder why no one loves you?  Well wipe the tears away for two fucking seconds and clue into one simple fact:  You are not as important as you think you are, and we care less than you think we care. Do you like hanging around a bunch of moody bastards or sad Sally’s all the time?  Good. Neither do we.   The only reason I read your 10 paragraph memo on Facebook about your broken heart is I want to save it off for later and mail it to you when you have some real problems.  You’ll laugh a what a fucking douche-bag you were.

Suck it up.  Emotional and moody was cool when James Dean does it.  You just make yourself an emotional leper that no one wants to spend time with.  Knock that shit off already.